Out of Control
by XxHDMxX
Summary: This is an angst songfic from Hoobastank's Out Of Control. This is in Hiei's POV. it's also an confesion to Yukina. There's a twist in the end, Dedicated to Blkwidow77.


Out of Control  
  
HDM: I am on the road of being a free verse poet. This is dedicated to Hiei, since it is about him. It is also dedicated to Blkwidow77, a fellow angst poet who helped me with the fic. I give kudos i have no idea what that means to her, her poems are better than a lot of shit I've read. Disclaimer is applied, I do not own Hiei, YYH, or the song by one of my favorite bands Hoobastank, Out Of Control. I only own my angst ideas, poems, and views on the existance of idiotic beings.  
  
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Hiei is in a forest that surrounds Mt. Kurama. He moves from tree to tree with ease, rustleing the foilage while passing by. It was dusk and the moon was full, illuminating the midnight hue sky. The stars painted sparkling portraits of the cancas sky. Hiei gazed at it silently, contemplating all the thoughts through his head.  
  
I've done everything as you say  
  
I've followed your rules without question  
  
I thought it would help me see things clearly  
  
but instead of helping me to see  
  
I look around and it's like I'm blinded  
  
I have let others push me around and took orders. At first it was that toddler now this bitch is on my back. Will I ever be free from my bondage? My vision is clouded from everything that was near and dear to me. It is as if I am not ment to find happiness. Damn what the hell am I saying? I have nothing that is neither near nor dear to me. Fuck, I'm my own worse enemy, killing myself from withen. My Jagan granted me to see things others can't, and yet I am still blinded. I am so pathetic to think that I am in control of my own life.  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
Where should I go?  
  
what should I do?  
  
I don't understand what you want from me  
  
cause I don't know  
  
if I can trust you  
  
I don't understand what you want from me  
  
They push me around, I am their dog. What sickens me is that I let them do this to me. Now it is too late, I am just a dog to them...a mere mongreal. I can't trust anyone, no one can help me. I can't control anything anymore. Why in the three worlds must I be tormented just for laughs? God damnit they're making a mockery of me! They love seeing me like this, they loathe seeing me without suffering. I am a mere marianette, they are my puppetmaster. Shimatta Kami above I won't let you manipulate me any more!  
  
I feel like I'm spinning out of control  
  
try to focus but everything's twisted  
  
and all alone I thought you would be there  
  
(thought you would be there)  
  
to let me know I'm not alone  
  
but in fact that's exactly what I was  
  
It was all an illusion. The people I could consider to be 'friends' have just disappeared into the wind with their own lives. Even my best friend has abandoned me. I tried to control my life to only make it more horrific than before. Should I just give in? No, I will not throw myself to the dogs without a fight. Fuck them all, why the hell do I fucking care about them? My sister is gone, she abandoned me, I have no one to care for now! It's all fucked up in this fucked up illlusion we call life. Life is so fragile, with a snip of scissors, it can be cut in an instant. My sister's was snipped by the Faytes, now they're waiting to cut my string aswell.  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
Where should I go?  
  
what should I do?  
  
I don't understand what you want from me  
  
cause I don't know  
  
if I can trust you  
  
all of the things you've said to me  
  
Their tongues are full of venom, poisioning me with their lies. They poisioned my mind into making me believe that they actually cared about me, I should have sucked out the venom before it got into me, now I'm paralized. Well I don't give of damn, I'll kill them if I have to rid myself of their venomous bite. For I cut my strings, I am no more their puppet they can manipulate. From my katana, heads will roll and blood will be spilled. I feel no regrets, I'll lick their blood off my katana as I watch them bleed their poisionous blood on the floor. I watch their river of crimsom blood flow to cover all, I laughed.  
  
I may never know the answer  
  
to this famous mystery  
  
Where should I go?  
  
what should I do?  
  
I don't understand what you want from me  
  
It's in a mystery  
  
it's in a mystery  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
So maybe I wasn't ment to have a happy life, I am the Forbidden Child. So what if the people I cared for turned away from me, I don't need them. I can live my life, trying to find my answers without them. I killed all who come even close to me. My eyes hold all the blood my victoms spilled. Full of anger, full of hatred, full of never-ceasing anguish. Her eyes were akin to mine, but full of pain she seen. Now, well, her eyes won't be seeing pain from her brother ever again. She can look foreword to a new life in another world.  
  
Where should I go?  
  
what should I do?  
  
I don't understand what you want from me  
  
cause I don't know  
  
if I can trust you  
  
all the things you've said to me  
  
And I may never know the answer  
  
to this famous mystery  
  
Imotto, I am truely sorry for all that you've seen because of those baka ningens. That baka couldn't protect you. I am sorry for being your brother. Chikuso! Death enslaves even the fairest of all creatures. I let my arrogence get in the way of your safety. Kami above, you never had a chance to live a new life with no pain or suffering. Sayonara Yukina, heaven is waiting for you.  
  
Where should I go?  
  
what should I do?  
  
I don't understand what you want from me  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
I'm spinning out of control  
  
out of control  
  
Hiei closes his eyes as he places his hand on a stone gray slab in the harden earth. A raven coloured Hiruseki drops onto the stone, shattering the silence. Hiei opens his eyes and sees it. He bites his lower lip hard, making blood stream into his dry mouth. The blood streamed through his fanged teeth. He wipes the blood away and spats it out. He kneels down and slowly touches the gray stone and he fingered the words YUKINA on the grave. He springs up turns away and walks into the sunset.  
  
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HDM: well, I'm making another one so hold on. I'm making a poem aswell so I'll post soon. Please tell me what you thought. Ja ne!  
  
Shimatta: Damnit Kami: God Imotto: little sister baka: idiot ningen: human Chikuso: a more offensive word version of shit Sayonara: Goodbye Hiruseki : teargem 


End file.
